Happy C*ckblogging Wednesday
Interesting twist and a little freckle. I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
I was reading an article the other day with the oh-so-standard poll taken. It seems that people in their 40's are lonely. DUH! I find myself so lonely at times I want to stab myself with a fork just to snap myself out of being self-pitying and depressing.
For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story...) on a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she Wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.
I was doing a bit of reading the other night - blogs and a book about economics. I found that being a fat woman is basically the kiss of death romantically and financially. I really did know this in the fore and the back of my mind but reading it in black and white really does slam this into my face and I can't ignore it...I can simply understand that I am not psychologically ready to get rid of the extra weight and it did get put on so I could have a physical restrainer (since I couldn't fend well or intelligently for myself) from the opposite sex and have a time out.
found this phrase in another blog as a reference to V-day (or what can be called "just one more day being single is glaringly unnatural," according to Hallmark and most all your coupled-up friends) which I thought was very clever. If anyone knows which site this is, please tell me so I can give the person who thought up this phrase due credit.
I am missing having someone in my life but I remember how many someone's who weren't really in my life (or the square-ones-I-tried-fitting-in-the-round-hole by use of a sledgehammer, as they could be referred to) who I have had who had only served to make me even more lonely. The second most saddening thing, for me, is having someone in your life and feeling more lonely than if you were alone.
I would like to have a man in my life with whom that I have things in common (for a change). I'd like to have a man who doesn't think I am ditsy (even if I am from time to time - I blame the blood-sugar drop for this...heehee) and instead finds me cute. I'd like a man who isn't cruel (unlike the moron who ran his Sports Illustrated swim models tape for me as a "surprise" because I was sad because I'd gained weight and wasn't feeling so great about myself), and doesn't list off my imperfections when he himself has none (uh, right, this is why so many women are beating down his door - NOT). I would like a man who does love me for me, not only the outside, but my personality, my intellect, my quirks, and my odd observations about life and people...Oh, and a man who actually understands female anatomy and can be emotionally nurturing would be amazing (found one - one out of 17 - who understood female anatomy *aka astounding in bed* but was a bit lacking in the emotional support area).
Yes, I do take full responsibility for the dating of the ill-mannered, non-communicative, and ignorant. I chose to date them and stayed associated much too long with them. I always felt if I just work more dilligently at the relationship that everything will be great but this never panned out, so I would end up pissed off at myself and walking out on said guy. I know this is one of many reasons I have given up searching for a decent man - my own flaws and theirs.
I believe if all women would band together and decide to be treated as we should and not settle, men would be forced to stop being players, acting as though women are naturally toothpick thin, tuning us out, and treating us badly in general. I really do hate Disney and society for instilling the thought that if a woman doesn't have a man there's something wrong with her or she's *gasp and mock horror* gay. I admit there are a few things wrong with me but everyone has a few things wrong with them. It'd just be nice to find a nice guy whose issues don't clash with my issues. I fully understand that one person can't be everything to you and for you, but being a lot more than what I have had would be wonderful. *sigh*
Oh well, once again I am left with working on myself and my life goals, as usual. There are many worse things than being single and occasionally lonely, so I will try to focus on other things on single awareness day - like our cookie baking contest at work. At least I can bake some fabulous cookies and do some cube decorating that will distract me while at work and I don't have to be around couples who remind me of my singleness. Plus, I don't have to share my food, bed, or space with someone else (yet for the right someone else, I would). At least I am not in some unhealthy relationship just for the sake of having one, and that's the best V-day present I can give myself (well, that and the stunningly lovely Liz Claiborne blouse I got on sale for $15 - yahoo)!
Have a lovely week and try to enjoy Tuesday even if Hallmark or Teleflora didn't get a pound of flesh from you or your loved ones.
Have you ever thought that perhaps your going out to dinner (eating too much crap), little gifts to yourself (crap you don't really need), and little indulgences are only a way to appease yourself because you hate your job and your life?